


Jorma can't sleep

by sickly _sweet (sketchy_and_unformed)



Category: The Lonely Island (Band)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, idek what this was honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-27
Updated: 2010-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26948347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketchy_and_unformed/pseuds/sickly%20_sweet
Summary: Jorma can't sleep so he goes to annoy Akiva. Repost from my livejournal, 2010.
Relationships: Andy Samberg/Akiva Schaffer, Andy Samberg/Jorma Taccone
Kudos: 1
Collections: Livejournal reposts: The Lonely Island





	Jorma can't sleep

“Kiv!” It’s an urgent hiss that makes him furrow his brow and pull the blankets tighter. “Akiva! Wake up!”  
  
“What time is it?” he croaks, voice broken from sleep. Jorma takes this as the invitation it wasn’t intended to be and pads into the room, pushing the door closed behind him.  
  
“I can’t sleep, man. I think there’s the biggest spider ever just hanging out on my bedroom ceiling.”  
  
Akiva rolls onto his back and pushes his fists into his eye sockets. “You _think_?”  
  
“Well, it’s dark.” Jorma sits on the edge of the bed. “You know that they can crawl into your mouth while you’re sleeping?”  
  
“I don’t care, Jorma.”  
  
“I don’t want to choke on a spider in my sleep, man! That is not number one on my list of ways I want to die.”  
  
Akiva can’t stop the amusement from leaking through in his voice. “There’s a list?”  
  
“It’s not like I wrote it down or anything,” Jorma says, swinging his legs up onto the bed and settling back against the pillows, “but I always figured I’d want to either get shot or die of an overdose.”  
  
“This is the third time this week you’ve come in here when I’m asleep. Once more and I’ll kill you myself.”  
  
“It’s your fault,” Jorma says, poking Akiva in the leg with his toe. “You and Andy made sure I got the crappiest room when we moved in.”  
  
“So go bug Andy for a change.”  
  
“Duh, where do you think I was last night?”  
  
Akiva shuffles into an almost-sitting position. “You mean I’m not the only one you wake up in the middle of the night? I’m hurt, Jorma.”  
  
“It’s not the same with Andy.”  
  
“No?”  
  
“Nah,” Jorma says. “Andy lets me fuck him.”  
  
Akiva laughs loudly and Jorma grins, pleased at the reaction. Making Akiva laugh is something that’s become a personal challenge to him. Andy is someone who finds everything funny, but although Akiva jokes around as much as the rest of them, his sense of humour tends to be a lot drier and he’s less generous with his laughter. Jorma mentally awards himself ten bonus points for making Akiva laugh when he was sleepy and pissed off at him.  
  
“We both know that counts as rape, Jorma.”  
  
“If he’s asleep he can’t say no,” Jorma counters, sliding down until he’s fully horizontal, arms pillowed beneath his head.  
  
“That’s very true.”  
  
“Would you say no?” Jorma turns to Akiva and their eyes lock, one pair wide and innocent, the other narrowed in tiredness and confusion.  
  
“Yes, I would say no if you tried to rape me. Haven’t we been through this?”  
  
“I don’t know.” Jorma kicks until he’s scrunched the blankets down far enough to slip his legs beneath them, burrowing into the bed. “Have we?”  
  
“I’m fairly sure that ‘no raping the other dudes’ was the first rule we drew up when we moved in.”  
  
“Was it?”  
  
“Jesus Christ, Jorma,” Akiva says with a pained laugh. “You’re infuriating.”  
  
“Yeah.” Jorma grins. “It’s my charm.”  
  
“That’s not what I’d call it.”  
  
“Come on,” Jorma pokes Akiva again with his toes, “I’m irresistible.”  
  
“I’m resisting the urge to choke you right now.” Akiva turns his back on Jorma, resigning himself to a night of little sleep. Jorma has a tendency to toss and turn for hours and steal all of the blankets, and apparently he has no intention of returning to his own room. Akiva sighs when he feels Jorma mould himself against his back, one arm flung over his waist, fingers settling over his heart. In a way it’s oddly comforting. Jorma’s body is very warm and his breath tickles against the back of Akiva’s neck.  
  
“In all seriousness though,” Jorma says, fingers drumming lightly on Akiva’s chest, “I have been screwing Andy.”  
  
“Everyone in the tri-state area is screwing Andy,” Akiva says through a yawn, sleep threatening to return at any moment. The feeling settles over him like a cloud, weighing down his limbs and dulling his thoughts. Jorma nuzzles a little closer.  
  
“Including you?”  
  
“Including me.”  
  
“Huh.” Akiva can almost hear the cogs clicking round in Jorma’s brain. “I guess that’s kinda weird, right?”  
  
“It’s very weird.” His speech has slowed to a lazy slur. “We’ve never been anything but.”  
  
“Do you like him more than me?”  
  
“Jorm, I can’t do this. I need sleep.”  
  
“What if I was Andy, would you do it then?”  
  
“I don’t like Andy more than you.” Akiva’s hand finds Jorma’s and squeezes. “I just need to sleep now. In the morning I will do whatever you want, okay?”  
  
He feels Jorma’s wicked grin against his neck. “You’re gonna regret saying that.”  
  
“I won’t.” With his last ounce of energy he brings Jorma’s hand to his mouth, kisses his knuckles. “I knew what I was getting into with this, believe me.”  
  
“Goodnight, Kiv.”


End file.
